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Showing posts from 2015

I Am an Introvert

I have inherently been an introvert. Yet for a good 20 years of my life, I always had something to share. For many of those years, I was reasonably capable of engaging people with mutually meaningful conversations. When you share your stories with others, it automatically elicits good stories from them. Not all the time. Maybe not even 10 percent of the time. But if you listen without sharing, you'd probably never hear some of the most precious stories of people's lives. I have grown tired of my stories. I may have shared them intensely with over two dozen people in my life. My narrations have become dull, devoid of life. Though I have little to say to people, I'd still love to hear their stories. A good life to me meant doing what I loved. But it is awfully hard to know what you truly love. I loved watching films. I even had the qualities of  a good filmmaker. But sustained failures, inherent fear, shortage of confidence and a barrage of conflicts dra...

Going From Somewhere to Nowhere

I get anxious about the uncertainty of going from somewhere to nowhere. It seems cool and exciting in the beginning. But you need to move your butt out of that somewhere.  Where should I go? Will the experience be worthwhile? How do I get there? Will it be a comfortable journey? All these questions and more swim in my head busily but going nowhere. I look searchingly for a signal from the universe. Nothing comes. Back to absurdism. I have to decide. Choices - Left or Right? Even though I have told people around me that I am going to Karuna Farm, I prefer it isn't the highlight of my trip. I'd want to discover something new. On this trip, my experiments are to play badminton and to interact with people. I wrote to some Kodaikanal people on the Couchsurfing website a couple of days ago. But they seem to hold my nationality against me. Not exciting enough to be a worthy guest. I had a confusing time figuring out the different exits from Kerala to Tamil Nadu. My s...

Helplessness

As he waited for an accident to happen, his little mind cannot fathom an acceptable response to the sporadic violence he gets subjected to. Leave? For so little and lose so much? Stay? And be battered or respond with violence?

Wake Up Cycle

Waking up early is so nice. Sleeping late is so stupid. I know cos I can feel it like a blade of grass touching my feet. Yet I feel gripped by the childish charm of stupidity.