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Damp Beginning 2014

2013 was a positive year in terms of finding a way to earn a living from home. After I came across some college notes scribblings on absurdism, I decided to adopt it in spirit. Late May my wife and I went to Saurkundi Pass, near Manali, for a 7-8 day trek. We had hardly exercised, which was also the case for another trek I had done 2-3 years ago. That one was really tough but I had scraped through with a bit of will, dexterity and good company. This trek was supposed to be much easier, so I expected it to be easy even though I hadn't exercised. My wife struggled a lot and that rubbed off on me. But I was surprised with my struggle because this was trek was a breeze as compared to the previous one.

We hadn't exercised for this one too. But Rahela and I weren't  fit enough to enjoy the trek, which should have been quite easy. My body seemed to have lost the energy and dexterity that can compensate for lack of exercise. Then, we missed a train to Kochi due to more than 6 hours delay

On my return, I decided to finish Ramlalji's daughter's marriage video. Then, my computer brokedown. 

And I am stuck with an old, deep wound of unfulfilled filmmaking ambition. At such times, my old belief system takes over and I wonder whether the universe conspired once again to sabotage my will to make films. 
.......
Please remember that I don't want you to feel bad for me. All that I feel is not right and healthy. It takes me a while to get it. I am sure I dont get it very often. And you should know that.

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